19 August

The Jewish Elvis

Well, only 12 more days of vacation.. I'm already getting nervous about going back to work... I always hated August when I was a kid... it was the last month off.. July there was August as a month-long buffer before school... August is like the Sunday of the Summer months... that last day before the work wek.. that last month before everything starts to die... I'm gonna use the next weeks to get back in shape.. I've let myself go good and proper... Haven't been in a gym in like 3 months.. unconsconiable.. Going to go today...

So I saw Neil Diamond, the Jewish Elvis, last Friday... I felt I needed to see him once before I die... He was pretty great I gotta say.. real professional old-school performer... Played most of his hits and a bunch of songs off his last two albums which I have so I was familiar with them... talk about geriatric crowd though.. and it wasn't anywhere near as packed as I thought it would be.. which was kind of depressing...

Kind of sick of the Olympics at this point, but the Decathalon is yet to come which is the highlight..

So now everyone's saying that Obama might not win.. No shit Sherlock... Apparently McCain wiped the floor with him at some town hall meeting hosted by some Pastor... AGAIN WITH THE PASTORS??? Why do these politicians have to pander to evangelical fucking cunts?? Of course McCain answered every question straight out of the Ronald Reagan textbook.. and Obama sounded like a professor... Now all the liberals are shitting in their pants... plus it looks like Obama is gonna pick Joe Biden as his running mate... Don't get me wrong, I love Biden, but he's a fucking Yankee liberal.. How are they gonna win with that? Does he want to lose badly?? To my mind, his only chance is to pick Hillary.. get the momentum back with him.. But that's not gonna happen.. and he's fucked... mark my words, he's gonna lose and lose badly... I truly can't wait to see the reactions of all the pundits that have touted him from the beginning.. what a tremendous waste of fucking time it would have all been.. and we get another fucking 4 years yet again of a Republican who thinks that 5 million dollars is the benchmark for being wealthy.. we're fucked.. thanks kids!

What else?

Mad Men is the best show ever made.. every show is a masterpiece..

If you are not watching this show.. you are missing out..

My latest craze is doing the New York magazine crossword perfectly... no cross outs.. no erasing.. all neatly lettered.. I've done it everytime... very satisfying..

If you dig crosswords.. you gotta try the New York magazine crossword.. it's really the perfect balance of challenging and doable..

 

13 August

Olympics...

Fuck it... I'm just really digging the Olympics this year.. I dunno why.. Reminds me a little of the 1984 Olympics the first ones I really remember... That Michael Phelps is just unbelievable... What I don't understand is how everyone is breaking world records so easily... Is it the full body suits they are wearing? If so, I'm not sure how kosher that is..

I also don't get how come professional basketball and tennis stars are allowed to compete, yet in every other event they must be amateur... Anyone know why?

What else?

I dunno...

Pretty uneventful vacation so far... the weather has been kind of September-sy.. I hate that... I like my September weather IN September... hope things pick up..

 

 

11 August

Settlin' in

So I'm settling in to being on vacation... I love it.. I never want to go back.. It's gonna be a fucking heartache when I have to.. Trying not to think about it..

Spent the weekend watching a lot of Olympics (Hey.. I said I would)... Thank God it's all available on HDTV.. FINALLY I have a use for the fucker.. Gotta say that Michael Phelps is pretty impressive, although I was pissed the French lost the gold in the relay..

Well, Edwards came out and admitted he had an affair with that woman.. He probably fathered the kid too.. The guy just turned out to be the usual pile of shit.. I can't imagine how he ran for the Presidency when he knew that was lurking in the shadows.. what a fucking psychopath... That's it, I officially wash my hands of the whole motherfucking thing.. Fuck him, Fuck McCain and Fuck Obama..

Saw my friend's Pink Floyd cover band on Friday... really entertaining.. Maybe I don't get out much, but I really enjoyed myself.. It made me realized how great Floyd's songs really are.. Gilmour has got to be one of the greatest guitarists that ever roamed the earth.. EVERY solo is a masterpiece.. even when someone else is playing them you really are moved by them..

What else?

Today's the first day of the 70s list.. For some reason this one is really a joy to put together so far.. I guess it's my favourite decade of music.. so diverse.. although the 60s were no slouch either.. going to be fun doing it..

Woke up this morning to a violent thunderstorm... I love thunderstorms.. I love heavy weather of any kind.. Put me in the middle of a hurricane and I'm a happy man.. makes you feel alive.. you really feel like you're on a planet.. hurtling through the empty nothing.. prey to all kinds of wild atmospheric events.. now if only a huge meteor would fall on us.. preferably on Vegas..

or Florida..

 

8 August

Olympics

Today is the first day of the Olympics... Anyone care? Why do we have to shit ourselves over this? The adulation of a bunch of self-involved, over indulged brats who have had their anuses licked from birth because they were born with some athletic ability has always chapped my ass..

I'm still going watch it...

When I was a little kid, I used to get these sneakers from Fayva.. a cheap shoe store.. I think it's gone now.. anyway, they were called Olympians.. and they were rip-offs of Addidas..

So I've always hated the Olympics..

I'm still going to watch it..

... and root for France.. mother fuckers..

Hung out with my parents this week... It was relaxing.. We had our usual conversations about politics and movies.. we got aggravated over the election.. drove around.. went to this hot dog joint my brother recommended from the Food Network.. was pretty horrible.. It was this place called Texas Weiners.. Some guy with an oxygen tank hooked up to him was coming out as we were going in.. It wasn't a good sign and not a very good appetite inducer..

Feeling restless.. Whenever Im alone for hours my mind starts racing... I actually start hearing, not voices exactly, but kind of an insistent drone.. and all my actions become hyperintense.. hyper realized.. like if I move my hand I'm VERY AWARE that I'm moving my hand.. it's a fucking annoying feeling and I have to get out in the open air and hear something other than my own heartbeat to snap out of it..

What else?

I dunno..

Been watching this show Sealab 2021 recently... pretty funny.. It's been on for years and years and I just now have seen it.. To those who have never seen it, it's this completely bizarre cartoon about these characters in a laboratory under the ocean.. It's done very much in the style of those SNL cartoon shorts.. but funnier..

Listening to Paul McCartney's Memory Almost Full.. I feel like my memory is almost full as well.. It's a pretty great album.. It's amazing how there is some pretty great stuff that has been put out in the last decade, yet it has no resonance in the present culture.. the only thing that makes a ripple is complete shit.. THREE DAYS discussing Paris Hilton making a "Political rebuttal" to John McCain's commercial?? Kissing her ass because she was able to string three sentences that were WRITTEN FOR HER??? Nauseating.. I fucking hate McCain now for instigating this..

I hate both candidates.. It's a fucking misery..

Shaved off my beard.. Sporting a moustache week now.. I look like a reject from Three Dog Night (if you don't get the reference, look it up)... Getting sick of it.. not much you can do with a moustache.. pretty limited in what you can wear.. what kind of vibe you portray.. either you're a hipster.. a dipster.. or a construction worker or a cop.. I feel constrained..

I feel like an old dog.. Life has caught up to me..

 

5 August

Tales from vacationland...

Actually.. I got nothing.. Today was really boring.. felt restless and frustrated... Going up to hang out with my parents tomorrow... Maybe a few days of driving around talking movies and politics while looking for interesting diners will do me good... Maybe it won't.. Anyway, the updates will be sporadic for the next few days... Next week the 70s list begins..

Had a great time with some old friends last night.. had a little too much to drink.. actually way too much.. My brother informed me that I spilled wine all over these books that I had laying around, and I have absolutely no recollection of having done it.. oh well.. no use crying over spilled cabernet..

Anyway, I was glad we picked up where we left off.. it was a vintage conversation.. felt like home..

What else?

Can this election have stalled anymore?

It's amazing that despite the fact Obama gets 100% of the media coverage.. he still is only tied with McCain.. I don't think he can win..

And what the fuck is up with the not picking the Vice President? At this point it's unseemly.. They both look like fucking coward pussies.. Like they're afraid to make the wrong choice.. PICK ONE FAGGOTS!!

Last night was another genius episode of the show Mad Men.. If you haven't been watching this show, you're missing possibly the best show ever made..

Fucking watch it..

 

1 August

I'm on VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well.. Today is my first day of a month-long vacation.. My first real long vacation in two years.. Need some time to decompress.. I will be updating the site regularly but at all times so keep checking in...

I'm gonna go take a walk in the sun now..

 

29 July

I finally saw Springsteen last night..

So last night I saw Bruce Springsteen at Giants Stadium.. I had an opportunity to go and I figured it might be the last time I ever get the chance.. so much like I did with Ringo, I seized the opportunity..

The last time I saw a concert at Giants Stadium was 20 years ago to see Paul McCartney.. I remember the sounding totally sucking.. the person next to me was louder than what was coming off the stage.. it was a jumble of echoey noise.. I thought for sure that in 20 years they'd have a better sound system.. Well.. I was wrong.. same fucking shit.. Obviously Giants stadium is not a place to play music.. the acoustics fucking suck.. the sound just dies..

Top that off with a row of drunk Jersey Shore teenagers in front of me and of course there's always one who can't hold their liquor.. so there was an annoying drunk girl who went from passed out to throwing up to passing out.. always with the usual teenage melodrama.. amazing how the dynamic of youth hasnt changed one whit.. They were so fucking annoying...

On top of that the set list sucked.. I left early though.. he couldve played another hour.. I dont know.. but while I was there he played way too much off his last two albums.. His last two albums have such an awful vibe to it.. some good songs but a horrible nauseatingly 9/11sy malaisey vibe..

Another thing, Patti Scialfa fucking sucks.. she's ALWAYS sucked.. she sounds like Katherine Hepburn in her 90s singing.. her vibrato sounds like Parkinson's... fucking horrible..

Finally the worst part of it was Bruces voice.. which was totally shot.. It was literally painful to hear.. and his whole "revival" shtick seemed so tired and rote.. "I'm gonna find me a River of Faith and build me a HOUSE and make some faith".. yeah, yeah.. I get it.. not moving me.... He didn't seem to command the audience like he used to.. I've never seen him so I don't know.. but he's old now so..

I guess maybe I was too late to see him.. or maybe.. just maybe.. like all things.. Most people are totally full of fucking shit.. and don't know what they're talkig about.. Maybe the whole Springsteen live thing that I've heard from so many people over the years is just a bunch of fucking bullshit.. and people are easily moved when they are in a big crowd.. See I'm the opposite of moved when Im in a big crowd.. I hate people so the whole crowd thing makes me literally ill to be around so much humanity..

Whatever the truth is the concert was a complete and bitter disappointment as most things are..

 

28 July

Wacky Packs..

Feh.. Another Monday.. Well, this will be my last Monday that I have to work.. for a month anyway.. Weekend was uneventful.. Yankees played brilliantly against the Red Sox.. until last night.. Oh well, you can't win em all..

Anyone been watching the Next Food Network Star on the Food Network? Well I have for the last month or so.. It's another one of those "reality" contests where the winner gets to have his/her own show played on the Food Network.. Anyway, they picked the worst fucking one.. some retarded guy who can't even pronounce his own name.. It wasn't until they actually put his name on the screen at the end that I finally got that his name was Aaron Macargo Jr.. The entire time I thought this mumble mouthed moron was saying Mcardle.. The guy couldn't even talk..

So I don't even wanna talk about it..

What else?

Reading The Spiritual Journey of Alejandro Jodorowsky: Creator of El Topo.. It's interesting so far.. The guy believes in magic.. and supposedly has had all these completely fucked up unbelievable experiences.. spirits visiting him in dreams who cure him of broken limbs.. seances attended wherein a heart is removed from someone's chest and then replaced with another.. and no scar is left.. I love the guy, but he's crazy as a shithouse rat obviously.. WAY to much peyote in his day.. But he's a great artist.. so fuck it.. The book goes on too much about the whole Zen Buddhist trip.. Going on and on about stripping away all layers.. all artifice.. all illusions to reach some final truth.. How's THIS for a final truth?.. ALL fucking religions are a bunch of fucking bullshit!!

Anyway, I bought it, so I'll read it.. That's what I do these days.. Waste not, want not..

While I was in the bookstore I saw this great book on the old stickers called Wacky Packages.. I used to collect them when I was a little kid.. I LOVED these fucking things.. They were basically Mad Magazine-esque satires of advertisements.. on their backs there was part of a larger image and when you collected the whole series you saw the whole picture.. they were beautiful and great.. Anyway, this book collects all of them.. Each page is dedicated to one sticker.. I shouldve fucking got it now that I think about it.. Oh well... next time.. It made me think of how old I am.. and how now things of my youth are now really looked at like history.. and people of my generation (and even younger) are now writing about these goofy things in such a venerated manner..

 

Makes me feel like an old dog..

 

 

25 July

I'm STILL not there!!

So at the urging of my brother, I rented the shitfest I'm Not There again to see if I missed anything the first time around... My brother raved about it so.. saying I was crazy for panning it.. Anyway, I saw it and I hated it just as much as the first time.. First off it's just plain fucking boring... Second off, EVERYONE mumbles in this movie... You can't even hear what anyone is saying through most of it.. Third.. two words... Charlotte Gainsbourg.. Is it a movie about the many sides of Bob Dylan or a movie about the ugly face of Charlotte Gainsbourg? It seemed like every other scene was a shot of her staring at a tv looking like she was sucking a lemon while trying to hold in a shit.. Totally not interesting.. and what the fuck was with the whole story with Richard Gere? I mean I know what he was trying to say.. but it was boring.. and uninteresting.. Cate Blanchett was unbelievably overrated.. gesticulating all over the place... she was the gesticulator.. boring.. annoying... so I've seen it and I wasn't crazy.. this film sucks.. So my brother's two for two.. First he recommends that last Rambo movie which was a pile of boring shit.. and now this.. I guess he's into boring shit movies now.. fucking horrible..

What else?

I received a box of old tapes from my old friend Rich..also enclosed were copies of our album in cd and cassette formats (which is beyond rare) and a huge stack of stickers and various other radio promo shit.. Went through most of the tapes.. there were a few real gems in there.. (which will be going in CASSETTE in the coming weeks and months).. I gotta say though, after wading through those tapes and listening to all that stuff, I started to sink into a malaise of depression.. just thinking about my life and all the choices I've made.. mostly bad ones.. it was heavy.. fucking heavy..

What else?

I'm reading a play now by a great friend of mine.. it's excellent.. lot of tension.. unnerving in a good way... half way through now.. I want to turn it into a graphic novel..

Anyway, have a good weeked asshats.. I'll see you on Monday..

 

23 July

Cassetting around

Took the day off from Walrus yesterday.. When I got home my new ION Tape2PC cassette tape/MP3 converter arrived.. So I played around with it all night looking through my box of tapes.. Kind of scary fucking around with them   cause they’re so brittle and fragile.. I think I got this thing at last possible second.. These things are about to disintegrate.. As it is, a couple of them broke on me as I was playing them.. I just remembered how much I hated dealing with cassettes.. they were ALWAYS a fucking pain in the ass.. always breaking or mushing up.. sounding garbled.. Now it’s fun to listen to just as a quaint thing.. but they’re no vinyl substitute.. they never were.. neither are cds or MP3s.. Vinyl will always rule… Anyway, my old pal Rich who I just reconnected with after 7 years is sending me a bunch of tapes and stuff he had saved from the Johnny Bravo years (my old band for all you new Walrus readers)… He was our tour manager… so I’m curious as to what he’s sending.. but anyway, this is for the Cassette blog…

What else?

There are not that many channels for HDTV that actually show films and shows in HD quality.. I did not know this before purchasing my HDTV…This sucks.. So apart from sports. which I must say is worth paying for it.. and basically is the only reason anyone is getting them I think..  there’s really not that much to watch.. so I was flipping around the three HD stations and I fell on the movie Roxanne with Steve Martin.. I had watched The Jerk recently before and was completely underwhelmed and disappointed in how horrible it was (I loved it when I was a kid).. anyway, Roxanne might be one of the most putrid movies ever made.. Steve Martin is so detestable and cutesy.. everyone is horrible.. ESPECIALLY Daryl Hannah.. WHO SAID DARYL HANNAH WAS GOOD LOOKING??  She plagued us in the 80s.. She is not only NOT good looking but actively ugly.. she looks like she’s retahded.. horrible tall man body.. who liked this woman?

Anyway, it was a horrible movie.. and I couldn’t turn the channel because at least it was being shown in hi def..  so I was literally nauseated all day after that..

Question.. How come in every light romantic comedy of the 80s the main music was always performed by a soprano sax (think Kenny G)…  Who liked this sound?  Sounds like a fart being squeezed out through clenched ass cheeks..

Been playing a ton of top spin 3 on the xbox lately.. now that I got it figured out its good for passing the time.. I recommend it..

My brother says I should re-investigate the movie I’m Not There.. He says it’s genius and I didn’t understand it.. Like I’m some sort of prosaic luddite..

So I’m gonna reinvestigate it...

What else?

The Yankees are playing fucking GREAT lately.. after last night’s win were only 3 ½ games out and we got the Sox coming up.. It’s totally within reach.. Our pitching has been outstanding and now the bats have come around.. let’s hope we keep this streak going..

See you faggots tomorrow.. maybe..  

 

18 July

The urge to purge....

Anyone remember Micronauts?  They were these great toys.. little action figures.. came in all different colours and they had all these accessories.. guns.. flying machines.. vehicles.. even like a Pegasus type creature.. some were bigger some were small.. Anyway, me and my brother loved these fucking things and we built up a HUGE collection of them… never had so much fun with a toy ever.. We weren’t really toy kids.. much more books, art supplies and records type of kids.. but for some reason we adored the Micronauts.. then one day for no real reason, we gave away out ENTIRE collection to this fucking pile of shit neighbour of ours.. we wanted to be liked so much.. that we felt if we gave away shit people would like us.. This turned into a fucking running theme for us.. the thing is not ONCE.. not ONCE.. did anyone ever appreciate it.. not only did they not appreciate it, but they treated us even worse…  I fucking regret that Micronauts giveaway the worst of all (although though I do have one (see above).. I found it on a trash heap one day)..

But that wasn’t the only time we did shit like that..

• My brother gave away our entire baseball collection to some fucking cunt asshole for no reason..

• I gave away my entire CD collection (totaling 4000) to the family of the  drummer in the band I got signed with..

• I gave my high school jacket to some girl that I never saw again after…

• I gave the one and only copy of my first and only novel that I ever wrote to some chick I never saw again (it probably sucked horribly… but would be interesting as an artifact nonetheless)

• I left my ENTIRE collection of books.. EVERY FUCKING BOOK I EVER OWNED in my life from childhood up at the apartment of a girl I was living with.. and in one stupid “magnanimous” gesture said “keep them”… THAT I fucking regret..  

• In a similar act of stupidity, my brother left all our guitars at some fucking cunt girlfriend of his’ apartment and she SOLD ALL OF THEM..  like 5 guitars… one of them being my favourite guitar I ever had... a Gibson SG that played like liquid butter..   

• One time in third grade I drew a poster for this asshole kid for this statewide competition… I didn’t put too much effort in it.. and made mine elaborate.. guess who won the competition?  You think he was appreciative that I fucking won him an award?

• Even more recently, a few years ago, I gave my friend Dave a ton of LPs… and his initial reaction  was “Aww.. how am I gonna carry this to my car?  And.. aww my wife’s gonna kill me”.. or something to that effect like I was burdening him with my gift… (sorry Dave for using you as an example, I can say that out of everyone.. I always enjoyed and felt good about giving you stuff.. like the stereo tuner and the PA system.. and the bass amps.. and the.. well you get the picture..)

I just never in my life ever got the kind of reaction I, myself, would have if someone gave ME anything.. not loaned.. not gifted.. but just out of the blue GAVE..

If someone gave me a fucking paperclip I would make a big deal over it…. Which leads me to the ONE and ONLY time anyone has given me anything out of the blue... This happened JUST RECENTLY.. Our other friend Dave generously gave me and my brother a ton of beautiful books.. I gotta say I was so overwhelmed I almost fainted from appreciation.. His gesture was so moving to me.. Whenever I look at them I still feel moved.. Just wanted to get that in there...

What does it all mean?

On one hand, it might mean that I have never been comfortable with possessions.. and have always had this unconscious need to purge myself of them every so often.. I mean, I’ve got nothing really from my past.. just a guitar.. and on the other hand Im an asshole for giving shit away stupidly.. and on the other hand people are generally ungracious.. ingrate fucks..

That’s what that means..

What else?

I saw VH1 Rock honors the Who last night.. Best show I’ve seen of its kind.. Doesn’t hurt that I adore the Who… The most surprising was Pearl Jam’s performance.. they were extraordinary.. no kidding.. I couldn’t believe it..

Anyway..

See you fucking assholes next week… my last full week before vacation goddamnit…

 

 

17 July

Sheesh..

Yesterday, I finished The Brooklyn Follies by Paul Auster.. I'd been kind of reading it in the bathroom for the last couple of weeks.. but last night I just read the whole thing in a shot... It was alright.. I think its his most sentimental and convential work.. and that's not really a good thing.. The characters were all mildly unlikeable some extremely unlikeable.. all in all it was pretty sappy.. I know I said different before, but I can't in good conscience recommend it..

Before that, I watched the movie The Jerk, with Steve Martin.. This was a flick i loved when I was a kid.. To my mind now, it's completely humourless.. corny jokes.. dumb story.. not even mildly amusing... and what was with Bernadette Peters? the woman is just disturbing.. I mean, I guess she had a nice rack.. but her nose is always red and drippy.. her eyes are always welling up.. It's like watching someone suffer from hay fever for 2 hours.. boy that movie went down like a heavy donut.... straight to my colon..

sheesh..

Can't wait til August.. I'm officially out of gas... which is ironic.. cause I'm always slightly gassy.. I've got no fuel in the tank.. If I don't get some time off soon I'm gonna kill myself which would inconvenience everyone working on Walrus..

I've been reading a lot recently about how the future of man will physically interlink us with machines.. that machines' intelligence will grow exponentially to the point that they will be billions of times smarter than we are.. and that we will become more and more physically connected to them.. literally.. bionic.. shit like that.. and that virtual worlds will become frighteningly realistic..

Question, in the future I'm sure there will be extremely realistic virtual sex devices wherein you really feel like you are having sex with virtual woman of your choice... If you were married, would that be considered cheating?

 

15 July

Voices in my head...

Was watching this old British animated cartoon the other day.. Count Duckula (who looked exactly like Daffy Duck, with the exception of being a sickly colour green and with a horrible toupee).. Haven’t seen it since I was a kid.. I remember hating it and thinking it was completely unfunny, awkward and weird.. and well, after seeing it again, my opinion hasn’t changed one iota.. I was stunned by how bizarrely unwatchable this show was… I remember they played it incessantly on Nickelodeon as well as this other horrible show Danger Mouse… something about these shows really fucking deflated me.. One thing that struck me watching it now was that the show apparently started running in 1987.. I thought it came out way earlier than that.. it made me feel completely lost in time.. not knowing where the hell I am anymore.. what came before, what is happening now and what is to come.. the feeling has stayed with me..

This might have been the cause of this horrible dream I had last night.. so horrible that it shook me out of bed at exactly 3:47 am (those who’ll get this reference will know how weird a coincidence it is) and kept me up the rest of the night.. I dreamt I was in France and I was dying of thirst so me and my brother stopped into this Patisserie on the street and I asked the guy for a glass of orange juice.. he comes back with a glass that is barely full.. I was so thirsty I drank it a second.. I noticed that the guy behind the counter was American.. I started yelling at him for bringing me a half full glass of juice.. my brother sees I’m in a fight and leaves the place.. Finally the guy asks me to come in the back where there’s a bar and he’ll get me a proper drink.. I have a drink at the bar and I realize that I’m late for something that my brother and parents are back at the hotel.. and I start getting nervous.. so I find a phone and I call over at the hotel and my grandfather answers..  My grandfather died 15 years ago.. He say’s “Where awhre you?  You left Branny all alone.. he didn’t know where to find you.. your mother is a wreck..” I stammered that I’m leaving now and I’d meet them… then I woke up..

The thing that disturbed me to my core was how fucking REAL his voice was in the dream.. It was like hearing him again after 15 years.. the dream brought back every nuance about him and his voice.. it was all in my subconscious.. and getting to hear him again now afforded me the opportunity to analyze it and him in a way I hadn’t before.. My grandfather had a fucking disturbing voice… he had this weird New York Jewish accent that also had a touch of refinement it to it.. educated.. instilling me with a sense of failure and dread in the same feeling.. because I knew from a child that I would never be a Doctor like he was..  that voice cut through me.. it was so full of disappointment when he spoke to me and my brother.. “You’re letting your mother down.. you’re not helping.. you’re not doing well in school” … Up until I had this dream, I’d forgotten what a fucking downer he was and how he made me and my brother feel like such shit all the time growing up… he was unhappy and bitter.. always sarcastic and playing jokes.. like the millions of times he would hide and let my brother and me think we had been abandoned in a crowded store.. My brother totally cut off to him in the last years of his life.. and I never understood how he could do that so completely.. maybe he saw what I felt last night..

My grandparents house always had this weird smell.. part seltzer… part playing cards.. part strange grooming accoutrement.. I felt suffocated by this odor last night… no wonder I’d buried all this shit deep.. what a nasty vibe to grow up in and be surrounded by..  My father wasn’t around at all growing up (except begrudgingly on the weekends we spent at Caldors) and we were forced to hang out with my crazy mother and her parents…  it seems like this dream has opened up a pandora’s box of horrible feelings that I put away in the back of mind.. and the box looked like one of those weird boxes my grandmother kept her weird things in..

Blech….

Anyway, I was up all night after that trying to shake off the feeling that I had somehow communicated with my dead grandfather…

Earlier that night, I caught the Home Run Derby.. The Home Run Derby is this yearly contest that comes before the all-star game.. This kid Josh Hamilton on the Texas Rangers, who was a former number ONE draft pick, who became a heroin addict, then went into rehab cleaned up his act and now is a sudden superstar..  hit TWENTY EIGHT homers in a row in the first round.. that’s a record.. and they weren’t dinky home runs.. they were HUGE fucking bombs.. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing… the pitcher he had throwing to him was a 71 year old guy.. I couldn’t believe how many pitches he threw.. my arm would fall off if I was doing that..  

Of course though he loses in the end because they don’t count the home runs in the third round and he was so exhausted from being up there so long that he could barely swing the bat.. fucking SUCKED… but that first round was something to see though.. man

It was such an anti-climax… and so typical..

My mother’s birthday is today… just want to say Happy Birthday Ma… Sorry I always let you down when I was a child…  

 

 

14 July

Bobby Murcer RIP

Another tough loss this weekend.. Yankee great and broadcasting giant, Bobby Murcer passed away after a long battle with cancer.. he was only 62..

I was watching the game and took a nap.. when I woke up they were talking about it.. For some reason for a couple of hours this news really hit me hard… I definitely shed a few tears.. maybe because I was tired and discombobulated or maybe I was just feeling low.. Either way.. Bobby Murcer was my favourite announcer.. he seemed like a genuinely beautiful soul.. and it’s just really sad for me.. to see these people I’ve admired all my life passing away..

I guess that set the tone for the whole weekend.. like a pall settled over everything.. a pall… a pall.. pall..

Worked on the 70s list pretty much all weekend… ripping songs off my LPs… It’s gonna be good… but it’s gonna take a while.. look for it 1 August..

Saw Mulholland Drive again last night.. Wouldve been so much better without the lesbian angle… one of the greatest films ever made…  As it stands it’s a great piece of filmmaking….

The night before I saw like 10 Twilight Zones in a row.. had the most horrible dreams from it.. but interesting.. My advice to anyone who desires interesting yet scary dreams, watch a bunch of Twilight Zones before retiring….

What else?

#1 Walrus fan and bro for life, Ortholomeux sent us some pics he took on his recent trip to London.. One of them was a photo of Walrus right in front of Abbey Road Studios…

This is the classic of classics.. He said that he hid the picture somewhere in the studios where no one will ever find it, ensuring that Walrus will have a presence there for all eternity..

That is classic..

Thanks Brotol…

Tired today.. total Monday.. fucking sucks.. doldrum city.. ennui county.. boredomville..

You get the picture..

Ahh. Fuckit..

Happy Bastille Day.. see you tomorrow..

 

11 July

TTTTTTTTTGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFF...

Long week.. I actually had to work a lot at my day job.. so I might have been a bit remiss in my Walrus duties... Things should pick up next week.. and then I have all of August off.. Thank God..

I'm already formulating the top 200 songs of the 1970s.. That is gonna be fun.. and we have some new interesting features coming on the horizon as well.. So there will be plenty of Walrus to go around in the coming weeks..

What else?

Interesting week in politics.. with that forever useless shitbird Jesse Jackson uttering retarded comments on a Fox News microphone.. supposedly not knowing it was on.. COMPLETE FUCKING BULLSHIT.. You don't say shit like that ANYWHERE.. let alone in a Fox News Studio.. Obviously he knew it was on.. obvious he's a jealous pile of incoherent shit.. Always was a fucking lightweight.. riding on the coattails of Martin Luther King who he had a marginal association with.. what a fucking cunt..

And on the GOP side, McCain cronie, Phil Gramm, was quoted as saying that America is a "nation of whiners"... How about go fuck yourself? This is the Republican mentality.. They are completely clueless. have no idea what the middle and working class life is like.. Another GOP "Let them eat cake" moment.. among millions..

And STILL the polls show the race is statistically tied..

It also came out that Hillary officially has not been vetted or part of the VP search.. With Webb out of the picture, who the hell are they gonna pick? Poll show that Clinton supporters will not turn out for Obama unless she is on the ticket... How does he expect to win??

Interesting interview on Morning Joe today.. Vincent Bugliosi.. Famous attorney prosecutor of the Charles Manson family trials.. and author of the classic "Helter Skelter" book based on those trials has now come out with a book putting together the case that George Bush should be tried for First Degree Murder for the Iraq War... It was a contentious interview.. and He was basically ridiculed... Bugliosi was furious for not being given more time.. It was great television....He SHOULD be fucking tried for murder.. but not for the murder of the 4000+ US deaths and countless injuries.. but for the DEATH OF THIS COUNTRY... spiritually, mentally and fucking ECONOMICALLY...

THATS what he should be tried for..

Ahh.. fuckit..

What else?

Bastille day is Sunday.. Vive La France!! Country of my birth.. I will drink a glass of wine in honour of all Walrus' fearless readers..

What else....?

Been reading Brooklyn Follies by Paul Auster.. enjoying the hell out of it.. I didn't get a chance to read it when it came out.. I always read his stuff as soon as its published.. but for some reason I never got around to picking it up.. It's your typical Auster special.. great consistent writing.. fluid.. I've been reading his stuff for so long now, his style seems like home to me.. Anyway, if you're into Auster and you haven't picked it up.. do so.. good stuff..

Anyway, see you all next week..

 

 

9 July

Happy Birthday Ringo..

Ringo Starr's birthday was a couple of days ago.. 68 years old.. Sill looks great.. Just wanted to commemorate the event by posting my favourite picture of my favourite Beatle..

What else?

Rented National Treasure 2 on in demand the other night.. nauseatingly bad.. implausible plot to the point of making you sick.. at least in the first one, which was only marginally entertaining to begin with, had some kind of plot.. this one.. horrible.. and what the hell is going on with Nicholas Cage? He looks like he's wearing horse dentures and his toupee doesn't even sit on his head straight.. bad..

Yanks kicked the Rays ass last night.. It was great.. These assholes who have come in dead last EVERY year for fucking 10 years are acting like hot shit because they are in first this year.. by a total fucking fluke? Calling the Yankees desparate in the papers? I saw them last night.. same old fucking Rays.. they will go down..

What else?

Anyone remember Sniglets?

Sniglets were the invention of this comedian Rich Hall from the 80s... He was on the HBO comedy show Not Necessarily the News.. which was a fucking hilarious show.. that you can't find ANYWHERE now.. Anyway, at the end of the show there was always this segment called Sniglets, with Rich Hall.. Sniglets were made up words used to describe real life situations... words like Esso Asso (a guy who gets out waiting at a red light by turning into a corner gas station and then going out the other side).. inexplicabills (the huge wads of cash gas station attendants use to give change with).. etc.. Anyway, me and my brother's favourite Sniglet was the word FLUDDLE.. we still use it today.. it's a real word to us.. and for years I couldnt find this in any of the sniglet books or on the internet or anything.. I was starting to think we made it up in our heads or mispronounced it or something.. Anyway, today, I finally found it online at urbandictionary.com. For some reason this is a huge relief to me.. Yes... FLUDDLE EXISTS!!!

1.	fluddle
	Sniglet, to do something stupid and then try to be cool about it, or pretend like you meant to do it. A man walks into a glass door, plays it off, and acts like it didnt happen is an example of a fluddle.

What else?

I dunno.. you tell me..

 

7 July

4th Recap

Actually, not much to say.. Hung out at my parent's compound all weekend.. just my brother and my parents.. we drove around as we are always wont to do.. discussed movies, politics, life... stopped and got coffee.. then took off again meandering through the county.. always heading in a northerly direction..

The first day, we went to this hot dog place Rutt's Hut that I had been to the year before, but had forgotten completely how to get to.. We spent two hours trying to find it.. we finally did.. it was alright.. old-fashioned atmosphere.. the last of its kind.. anyway, the second we left the area, we all forgot how we got there.. I mean this place is fucking hard to get to.. It's like it exists in the ether.. or in another dimension.. It's the fucking Shangri-la of hot dog stands..

Anyway, saw a bunch of Twilight Zones I'd never seen before.. slept.. didn't see any fireworks.. slept more.. it's so quiet in the burbs.. you go into a coma up there..

The last evening we hung out with our friend Kevin, who recorded all our songs for us back in the day.. then we went home the next day.. after some more coffee and conversation..

Pretty simple time... but good.. You gotta cherish these moments...

When I got home, I saw the greatest tennis match I've ever seen in my life.. Roger Federer vs. Rafael Nadal.. All I can say is Federer is a true champion.. coming all the way back to almost win it.. it was just unbelievable.. Disappointed he lost, but it was the single greatest set I've ever seen..

After that I saw the Yankees beat the Red Sox in the 10th inning, so the day was great as far as sports is concerned..

Today is gonna be fucking brutal at work... Hope I make it..

Three more weeks..

3 July

Halfway point..

Well, tomorrow we reach another 4th of July.. the official halfway point to the next year.. I always start thinking ahead to the next year by the time Independence Day rolls along.. Going to go upstate for the weekend.. Hopefully, I'll get an opportunity to visit some old friends..

My favourite part of the holiday is the Twilight Zone marathon.. Sure I've seen them all 100 times already.. sure I've got the entire set on DVD... but still, there's nothing like watching them on TV one after another.. it just adds this really weird vibe to the proceedings.. you come and go at your leisure and there's always an episode on.. Its always slightly creepy.. I love it..

Anyway, so Walrus will be off, new content-wise, tomorrow.. but we will be back in full force come Monday..

In other news..

Tried to see Rambo last night fell asleep.. I dunno what Catch is talking about..

Yankees are sucking.. and Leon's getting LAARRRGER!

Happy Fourth of July everybody.. Enjoy the dogs and burgs!!

 

2 July

Woke up with an annoying feeling..

Woke up angry today.. something was annoying me.. hated the world..

I had gone to bed early for a change and hadn't checked the site.. Went to work, and imagine my surprise when I get a FORBIDDEN message.. Before panicking, I checked the server.. again... FORBIDDEN ACCESS.. What the motherfuck? I called around to see if this was happening outside of my office and it was.. then I checked my account and found that the server had locked me out because they didn't receive my automatic payment from fucking PAYPAL... I had noticed a problem before with something else that I paid for with Paypal recently and had to switch to a different payment type.. Anyway, I called the server people and they were reasonable and said I'd be back up within the hour.. then I went downstairs checked with my bank (thankfully located in my building) to make sure my credit card was in order which it was, in fact they had seen something debited from my server people this morning.. then I went back upstairs and found that I was already back online.. then I called the server people again to make sure my accounts were in order.. and this time I got some asshole who was vague and told me to check back tomorrow with them.. so Im left with an horrible unresolved feeling..

So my point is, if Walrus is down tomorrow morning, keep checking back.. I WILL resolve this issue thoroughly..

Lessons learned:

Paypal fucking sucks
I obviously can't fucking take my off this site for one minute without some fucking annoying thing happening.

I KNEW there was something annoying when I woke up.. It's like I'm physically attuned to Walrus at this point..

Anyway...

What else?

I dunno, at this point, I'm completely aggravated and am shitballed (an expression coined by my father, meaning annoyed, flustered, bothered, etc..) so I'm not really in the mood to pontificate today..

Just wanted to give the heads up to our fearless readers and let you all know we are working on the problem..

 

1 July

My cousin Vinny..

Was just having a conversation with my colleague from work.. He's this crazy French guy who is a total Walter Mitty type.. HUGE teller of tall tales.. Superman himself couldn't leap over these fuckers.. anyway, I just spent the last 15 minutes or so arguing the fact that My Cousin Vinny was NOT set in the late 60s.. He steadfastly says it was.. He says it's his favourite comedy of all time.. He quoted long passages from it.. and as I myself have seen it a billion times.. not because I like the picture, mind you, but because it's one of those movies that always seem to be on at any given moment.. anyway, I could tell he's seen it a million times cause he quoted it perfectly.. How is it that he thinks it was set in the 60s? Did I miss something? WAS it set in the 60s? That would be fucking creepy if I've seen this movie a billion times and completely missed that.. Anyway, someone please confirm before I go crazy..

What else?

Not much, I have to work while Longcipher and Mr. Catch-22s go get to epiphanize out in the sun.. July's the best time to have off.. best weather.. I have August fucking shitty.. humid.. rain.. sometimes its cold.. sometimes its hot.. fucking sucks..

Not much to add further.. I'm at a low ebb..

There was something I wanted to talk about but I forgot.. if I remember I'll post an update later..

 

30 June

One more month to go...

Spent the weekend recovering from the two weeks of long nights struggling with the 80s list.. but I couldn't relax.. I had got myself stuck on a techical problem vis a vis Walrus.. I'm in the planning stages for a revamping of the website involving more menus and better organization, but the drop down menus I was working with didn't drop OVER the flash object (slideshow thingy) on the front page.. After researching and agaonizing hours I was able to get it to work in Internet Explorer, Firefox and Mozilla.. but NOT Safari.. and as roughly 30% of our readers are Mac users, this just wouldnt work.. So I wrote the tech person and she informed me that it just wasn't possible due to the fact that Safari has some bug that doesnt allow anything to go over any flash object.. So how is that fucking useful??? I've seen other websites pull what I want off.. and it fucking really bothers me to run up against a brick wall like this.. for some reason it really took the wind out of my sails.. Chrissake, I sound like one of those nerd web guys complaining about technical problems.. cause that's exactly what I'm doing.. That being said, anyone who knows anything about this, I'd really appreciate any advice you got..

Anyway, in between dealing with that shit, I picked up a copy of the latest tennis game for the Xbox 360, Top Spin 3.... at first I thought it totally sucked.. they completely changed the mechanics of a video tennis game.. after a while I noticed that it was a bit more realistic.. and the games were closer and more challenging than in any tennis game... and you didn't fall down every two seconds like you did in the previous incarnation.. but there aren't many extras in the game.. the sound is boring.. basically just the sound of the ball being hit back and forth.. Still, it's entertaining enough if you just want a no-frills game of tennis... It's better than Pong at any rate..

What else?

I tried unsuccessfully to write a few songs over the weekend as well.. came up with three things and they all fucking sucked horribly... I weighed the option of putting them up in the song-a-blog anyway, just to show my readers an example of horrible songwriting, but I figure they get enough of that in the real world and didn't need to be bothered with that in the land of Walrus.. maybe a higher class of muse will visit me tonight.. I think the muses that stopped by over the weekend were former crack whores..

Just wanted to say that HBO has been great with the George Carlin marathons.. I've taped every single one now.. and it was a cathartic experience watching the over again.. now that he's gone.. On the one hand it's such a loss and you're sad, but on the other, he's still making you laugh and you just feel glad that there was someone like him around while he was.. On that note, I thought it was a nice tribute and a great idea for Saturday Night Live to run their very first episode on Saturday in honour of him (he was the very first host of SNL).. They played it in its entirety.. I don't think I'd ever seen the whole thing before.. It was great.. it was totally more artistic.. and full of soul.. I mean they had Carlin hosting, looking his coolest, Janis Ian and Billy Preston as musical guests.. a totally bizarre and interesting sketch with Jim Henson.. Andy Kaufman doing his Mighty Mouse routine and a film by Albert Brooks.. totally jammed packed with 70s goodness.. That vibe is lost forever..

Also saw, or tried to see, an Alfred Hitchock movie I'd never seen before, The Paradine Case, about a despicably annoying woman accused of murdering her old blind husband, In a career of a canon of some of the greatest movies ever made, this maybe was Hitchock's lamest.. no wonder I never heard of it.. It had a great cast.. Charles Coburn, Charles Laughton and Gregory Peck, but the screenplay stank.. which makes sense cause it was penned by David O. Selznick who was a producer and not a writer.. anyway, it was boring and horrible.. I gave up on it an hour in..

I've got one more month to go before my annual month-long vacation I usually take it in July, but I couldn't this year..

It's gonna be a long month..

 

25 June

Ringooo!

So yesterday my boss kindly gave me a day off out of the blue as a reward for working so hard lately and to relax before the huge conference coming up... It was much appreciated.. I do feel a little more rested.. I was able to work on the 80s list at my leisure and I even managed to finish up a tune I was writing and record it for posterity.. (all tunes are now relegated to the song-a-blog)... I did some drawing too.. So, in essence, it was a full Walrus work day...

In the evening, I had an opportunity to see Ringo Starr and his All-Star band at Radio City Music Hall.. Hey, I wasn't gonna miss that if I had the opportunity.. I gotta say, it was pretty moving to see Ringo.. He's my favourite living Beatle by far.. He looked great.. He's 68 and he looked easily 20 years younger.. so much energy.. more than the crowd had that's for sure.. they were.. well.. slightly on the geriatric side.. but there were some kids too.. nerdy ones.. they were cute though.. reminded me of myself when I was a young Beatle fanatic.. It was nice to see good music passed on from generation to generation..

I'd never seen Ringo and his band play before, so I didn't know that Ringo doesn't actually sing that many songs in the set.. which was kind of a drag.. But that was offset by the fact that he plays drums on the songs he doesn't sing.. and even sings a couple while playing.. His band were all people I knew.. Colin Hay (of Men at Work fams) who I'm a pretty big fan of so that was a nice surprise, Billy Squire.. again, I loved his first album.. Gary "Dreamweaver" Wright.. Hamish Stuart (Average White Band)... and the great multi-talented Edgar Winter.. They all played a couple of their hit singles... with Ringo backing them on the drums along with this other guy who used to play with David Lee Roth.. Anyway, it was overall really great.. what was ESPECIALLY great was that on the very last song the great LEVON HELM came out and played the drums.. He looked really good considering all his health problems over the recent years.. and I'm glad I can say that I saw him play drums in person.. It was worth it just for that..

After that I went home and saw the Yankees get their asses handed to them by the lowly Pirates.. which put a damper on things...

Well.. you can't win 'em all.. but you should at least try to..

 

 

23 June

Cry, cry, cry...

My heart is heavy writing this... one of my favourite human beings passed away.. the great George Carlin...

I'm too sad to write anything profound on this.. All I know is he was a genius comedian.. an animal lover.. a humanist... a man I've admired all my life.. who made me laugh and cry and think.. and I loved him.. Out of any celebrity who ever died in my life, I think this one hurts the most....

In an eerie coincidence, I wrote and recorded a new tune over the weekend, entitled "Cry, Cry, Cry"... I was gonna go into a whole spiel about it.. but I just don't have the heart for it now.. anyway, here it is...

 

Gonna go watch "George Carlin: Again!" now, which, thankfully I just happened to record the other day.. The bit he does about time is one of the most genius things ever written.. man was he cool.. loved him... HE deserves a WEEK long memorial on TV, in my book...

God bless your sweet soul Mr. Carlin.

 

 

20 June

Turn DOWN the volume..

TGIF…  Tough week…I actually had to do a lot of work in my real job so on top of my Walrus duties I’m totally out of it…

Last night I caught this movie on cable …  Pump Up the Volume with Christian Slater that came out in the early 90s.. I actually saw it in the theater … how I managed to sit through it I have no idea.. What a piece of fucking SHIT this movie was.. No wonder everyone hates Generation X… After watching this pile of putrescence I see their point.. Whining fucking pussies.. Everyone is detestable and cutesy in this movie… and for some reason every two minutes or so there is a montage of people dancing in the most faggotized fashion Ive ever seen… What was with the jumping around dancing in the 90s…fucking bad…so fucking bad... The main female character was played by Samantha Mathis... her whole look and vibe was so typical of a certain type of chick from that era… the kind of chick I never got…. One who acts like she’s so different and arty and yet who always went for the most typical conventional type of guy... they always had the same bob haircut that they loved to flop around… and really red lipstick all the time… and talked about sex constantly, but you knew they were horrible at it.. ugh.. made me sick to watch it.. didn’t make it through the whole thing.. I didn’t even get into the fact that Christian Slater might have been the most annoying actor of any generation.. What was with his annoying delivery?  He thought he was the next Jack Nicholson.. more like the next Jack Shittleson..

Anyway what else?

7 in a row for the Yankees… They’re playing the Reds this weekend… I don’t think I’ve ever seen them play the Reds.. should be cool.. Ill be doing that.. maybe Ill finally finish Mass Effect too.. I think Im ready now…

So I guess that’s it.. I’m tired and I got nothing further to add..

I’ll see you all next week… same Bat time, same Bat channel..

 

 

 

18 June

Who's Zoomin' Who?

So yesterday I played hooky from work and slept in... I was totally beat from staying up all night working on the 80s list... Starting to think I bit off more than I could chew.. Anyway, after a while I started to feel unproductive, so I took my new Zoom H4 portable multi-track recorder out of the box and decided to give it a test run.. After a half hour, I got the basic gist of the thing so I recorded a little ditty of mine... Because, I haven't figured out how to punch in and out (recording lingo) when I want to, I had to play the full song on all the tracks.. Easy enough.. so It's just me and my acoustic.. and I played the solo on my trusty Stratocaster through my mini Orange amp (so glad I got it now, cause not only does it look cool, it sounds pretty good as well)... anyway heres what I came up with.. It's my first attempt.. so go easy with the criticisms faggots..

After that I just lounged around and enjoyed the peace and quiet... watched the news... or should I say the Tim Russert Memorial channel.. I liked the guy just fine, but it's getting to be a little silly now.. anyway, then I watched the Yankees kick the Padres ass.. Man they're playing great these days.. totally enjoyable..

What else?

I dunno... I wish I could play hooky everyday... I think everyone should get at least ONE day of the month especially for that purpose... I used to cut class all the time in school.. I loved it.. me and my brother and our pal Steve Ricciardi used to take off around noon and go to his house to play on his Apple IIe.. he lived nearby.. His mother never seemed to care that we were not in school.. In fact, she used to make us snacks.. He had all the games for it.. One time a bunch of us sneaked out and we all watched this movie "Faces of Death" which showed people and animals actually dying in it.. I actually just pretended to watch .. I covered my eyes through most of it.. made me queasy.. I was a faggoty kid I guess.. I'd like to think I was sensitive... I'm an artist after all.. I've got card and everything.. It reads "Hermit: Sensitive Artist" and its endorsed by the American Association of Faggotry...

 

 

17 June

Checking in...

Just a quick Herm today... I'm behind on everything cause of the 80s list.. went through a million drafts last night and went to bed around 4 am... got up late and I'm all turned around now.. but I couldn't leave my fearless readers with nada...

I promise, I'll be fresh as a daisy tomorrow..

 

 

16 June

Father's Day Weekend Recap...

Well the weekend started off a total fucking bummer with Tim Russert's sudden passing.. He was such a news giant and such a constant presence on tv.. esepcially for me, cause I'm a news junkie and I mainly watch MSNBC and NBC news and Meet the Press is one show I always try to catch.. It was a shock.. Really impressive how much all these pundits genuinely seemed to love him.. They did wall to wall coverage for the entire weekend on MSNBC like they did when Reagan died.. I guess he had that avuncular presence.. that kindly everyman thing.. He was a great communicator.. He always hooked me in anyway.... it really feels like a loss..

It's interesting because the sunday before last I missed Meet the Press.. in the morning and at night when they rerun it.. and it really bothered me for some reason, but I rationalized that I'll just see it next week.. and then he died.. depressing..

Anyway.. RIP Mr. Russert..

Aside from that, the weekend was actually really good.. me and my brother went upstate to visit with my parent's for Father's Day... The four of us had one of our famous drives wherein we just talk about movies, politics and life in general as we meander in a northerly direction.. usually ending up at the Orange County and then heading back.. Sometimes we make it as far as Duchess.. There's some beautiful country in New York... We ran into some heavy weather.. I loved it.. I love weather.. its one of the few things that makes you feel alive.. The rain came down in sheets.. the lightning was a show.. It was great.. Nothing better than sitting in a coffeehouse.. safe.. watching the weather blast away.. It was a good moment, which is all you can ask for.. We got my father a couple of DVD sets of b-movie film noirs of the 40-50s... that's his favourite type of movie.. and mine too, I guess...

What else?

I finally finished reading the entire Bone series by Jeff Smith.. My final opinion on it is that the artwork is brilliant.. and overall, it was entertaining.. but I can see that if I were reading it monthly as originally put out instead of in one anthologized format, I would feel dicked around.. a whole lot of unnecessary plot.. unnecessary ideas.. feels WAY dragged out.. like he didn't really know where he was going throughout the entire time he was making the comic.. But, having the luxury of coming to this years after the fact and reading it at once makes the experience extremely worthwhile.. I highly recommend it and getting lost in all that beautiful black and white artwork..

Spent all day yesterday going through my record collection and pulling out stuff for the 80s list.. ripped a ton of vinyl to MP3 for that purpose.. It was fun.. I guess in the end, I'm just a real fan of music.. It never gets old for me.. It moves me.. it always has.. The 80s was a great period for music.. strange, cause I really hated it at the time.. I much preferred listening to my parent's music from the 60s and 70s.. Anyway, it should be good..

I also brought a nifty little gadget over the weekend called the Zoom H4.. it's a field recorder/4 track recorder.. sounds great from the brief fooling around I did with it.. its got all kinds of features I won't get into, but I intend to do some recording and I will upload the results in future, as I finish 'em...

So, after I picked up the recorder, I decided to have some White Castle which was nearby.. I never eat fast food in general, but I was craving the wave.. I just couldnt resist this time.. and of course there was some kind of dangerous character running wild inside.. The fast food chains of NYC, especially the Castle, always seem to attract this horrible crack addled element.. like every time you go to Gray's Papaya, there's always one or two "hot dog bums" haranguing you for frankfurter money.. mother fuck it's annoying.. Anyway, this one particular goon started fucking with me as I tried to get some ketchup.. I pretended like I didn't understand what he was saying and he grumbled angrily to himself.. these fucks are always grumbling angrily to themselves.. Anyway, after that, the meal was ruined for me.. I couldn't eat in peace with this asshole ranging around like a demented silverback in a lab cage..

Went home and even got in a couple of hours of Mass Effect..

All in all it was a full weekend...

 

13 June

Shining..

Can these two look like bigger dipshits? What’s with the fucking faggotized Debbie Gibson 'Electric Youth' hat, and the ubiquitous headphones around your neck?  We know you’re a “DJ” (lamest of all supposed jobs), but you’re not a fucking doctor… You don’t need to carry headphones around your neck like they’re a fucking stethoscope…  and enough with the annoying fucking fart-smelling smirk… You are a nobody.. You're brother is a marginally talented producer (Mark Ronson, produced Amy Winehouse record).. this makes you.. nothing.. that's what it makes you.. a douchebag.. if you're lucky... and Lindsay, look worse.. you’re in your early 20s for crying eye…  Feh.... I shouldn’t even be talking about these two fuckwads, but as I was assaulted the other day by Lohan’s horrible acting, and as all I see on the internets is how this undynamic duo are munching on each other’s carpets..  I.. I just had to… Fuck them both with a serrated dildo..

Now back to the blog..

What's with HBO playing The Shining a million times? Is this the new Beastmaster? (for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about.. Beastmaster was a horrible Conan the Barbarian rip off movie in the 80s, starring Marc Singer... and HBO mustve replayed it a billion time.. I mean it was psychotic.. It was practically the Beastmaster channel.. all Beastmaster, all the time..

Anyway, The Shining has become the new Beastmaster.. This has been going on now for months.. It seems that on any given night as I flip the channel I will inevitably run across The Shining.. I mean, I don't mind so much.. I always end up watching it.. even though Ive seen it 100,000 times by now.. I'm just curious as to why this is happening.. Did the HBO programmer have a major bug up his ass to see this movie when he wrote up the scheduling for the year?? Seems like it.. It's getting to be rigoddamndiculous though if you ask me...

What else?

I dunno... But, I think I've said enough this week.. Enjoy the weekend faggots..

 

 

12 June

Recant

First off.. Right off the bat.. I wanna take back what I said about Obama's tax plan.. I was misinformed.. fed wrong information.. given wrong directions.. given the bum steer.. you get it.. After careful reviewing of his plan, I have come to the informed decision that it is NOT true that Obama plans to raise taxes on the middle class.. only people making 200,000 bucks and higher will see increases and FUCK THEM anyway... There you go, I own up to my mispeaks.. Sorry Obamer..

Now that that's out of the way..

Nothing much to report today..

Saw a sweet film on in demand last night.. called Lars and The Real Girl.. Starring Ryan Gosling.. he plays an extremely disturbed young man who buys one of those realistic sex dolls and is under the delusion that she's real.. anyway the whole community (looked like it was set in Wisconsin or Minnesota... somewhere in that area) supports him as he works through this delusion.. really shows the good character of people from that part of the country.. some very nice scenes in it.. but HIGHLY predictable.. still it was a very sweet film.. I especially liked the performance of actress Kelli Garner, who plays one of his co-workers who is in love with him.. she conveyed a lot of information in her acting.. I dunno it was charming.. certainly vastly superior to the pile of manure that was I'm Not There..

Anyway..

Starting to put together the 80s list in my head.. It's definitely gonna be a challenge... But I think I'm up to the task..

Speaking of music.. they say that the sales of LPs.. Vinyl records is surging.. there is a rebirth.. I have never stopped collecting vinyl since I was a small child.. I have always espoused the greatness of vinyl as opposed to all other formats.. I am so glad to see this is finally really breaking nationally..

You people with turntables and LPs.. play them loud and proud.. we're making a comeback big time!!

Heres a couple of interesting article on the subject.. from Rolling Stone and CNN...

The weather is very pleasant out today NYers... go out and enjoy it..

 

 

11 June

Ahhh..

The heat finally broke.. pleasant out this morning...

Rented that Todd Haynes movie about Dylan, "I'm Not There" last night.. Made it about 30 minutes into it.. What a fucking clueless, miserable, fucking faggotized pile of shit... So typical that people were jizzing over this excrement.. First off, it has Dylan's music in it.. yet the name of the character is Jack Rollins not Bob Dylan.. Jack Rollins? Can you pick a more fucking hackneyed name?? Why have a different name when the film is about Dylan? What is the moronic reasoning behind that? I mean the movie was sanctioned by Dylan, it's got Dylan's music in it.. Why have the main character's name be different, espcially a retarded name like Jack Rollins? Then there's ANOTHER character in it.. of an actor PLAYING Jack Rollins in some fictitious movie about Jack Rollins... I mean WHAT THE FUCK??

Everything is spliced up and thrown together.. completely structureless.. no narrative.. and not in a good way.. in a clueless fucking way.. Plus, even if his intention was to get at the "mist" that is Dylan.. that shapeshifting quality of his.. he completely missed the point.. completely didn't get it at all.. just full of nauseatingly cutesy performances (e.g., Julianne Moore as "Joan Baez", and fugly Charlotte Gainsbourg as.. I don't know who the fuck she was supposed to be playing.. the wife of the actor) and fucking horrible trite dialogue.. All the actors are mumbling.. I couldn't even understand half of what they were saying.. which was infuriating.. the little black kid they got to play Jack Rollins' younger self is COMPLETELY unintelligible.. putting on some phoney southern accent.. completely affected in that gay child actor way.. this movie was atrocious.. I couldnt even get to the part with Cate Blanchett playing Rollins' in his Blonde on Blonde phase that everyone was shitting themselves over.. I'm sure its as cutesy and vomitous as what I already saw.. fricking hate Cate Blanchett anyway.. Could there be a more overrated fucking actress out there??

Fuck Todd Haynes.. Fuck this movie and fuck everyone who said this movie was good.. seriously.. fuck you..

I had to put on Spinal Tap to clear my mind... and after watching that pile of shit for 30 minutes, Spinal Tap seemed like a serious documentary to me.. It was fucking weird..

What else?

Looks like Obama intends to raise taxes on everyone making $50,000 and up.. Yeah.. that'll work..

Fuck that shit..

On top of that, Scarlett Johansen has come out and said that she and Obama email each other daily?? I'm not sure what to think of it.. This dingbat kid has his ear on a daily basis?? Unless he's fucking her and/or exchanging sexy banter back and forth, what could they possibly have to talk about? THIS is a President? The news item was presented as a bit of fluff.. but I see it having legs when people begin to process the story and start thinking WHAT THE FUCK? He's texting Scarjo every day, when he should be focusing on our problems??

What a fucking world...

 

 

 

9 June

Heatwave!!

What the fuck?? Can it be any hotter? Couldn't do anything this weekend.. the heat was fucking oppressive.. just stayed in all day.. falling in and out of sleep.. It was like I was in a stupor.. My sleep cycle is completely off..

During one of the "waking" segments of this weekend, I had the utter misfortune of watching a movie that I have been literally avoiding for two years now.. Georgia Rule.. Every time I see it (and I see it a lot) on tv I immediately change the channel.. but as I said, I was in a stupor this weekend so for some reason I left it on... it was the middle of the night and I was too weak to get to the clicker... All I can say is, oh my God.. possibly the worst film ever made.. I won't go into the details, because I don't want to relive it.. all I can say is Lindsay Lohan is absolutely vomitatious in it.. she went from a really cute (if not buxom) young girl to a major SKIZZANK!! Oh my God.. actively unnattractive.. and the acting.. oh the acting.. I'm getting queasy.. let's move on...

Saw Hillary's concession speech.. pretty moving.. she delivered it with balls.. didn't even choke up once.. Hope that's enough for the fucking pundits and faggotized Obama supporters.. They are already starting with the "Did the media treat Hillary unfairly?" stories on tv... So fucking aggravating.. NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK.. They shit on her throughout the whole thing and now they have utter fucking mendacity to actually run stories about how they treated her unfairly.. Now THAT'S fucking CHUTZPAH!!

Yankees played a couple of great games this weekend.. especially on Saturday coming back from behind in the bottom of the ninth.. don't wanna jinx it but theyre looking pretty good lately.. the Joba-less bullpen isn't as bad as I thought..

Almost finished with Mass Effect.. in order to prolong it, I dorkily played a few hours trying to complete all the side quests.. that's the first time I've done that kind of thing since I was a kid when I tried to get all the bananas in Donkey Kong Country..

What else?

I think I'm officially 90s'd out.. I'm gonna give myself a couple of weeks then start thinking about doing an 80s list.. It'll have to be just my personal favourites, cause I don't know shit about what was the TOP singles of the decade.. I didn't follow it that closely.. I was still being tucked in by my grandmother..

Finally, it's Walrus' birthday today.. my heart is filled with pride.. kept this thing going for a year.. and managed to grow it exponentially as well...

Good for me..

 

6 June

TGIF

This week's top 50 list was an interesting experiment for me.. definitely tested my ability to write blurbs on the fly for all those songs... It just shows you what a bullshit job it is being a music journo.. The hardest part was coming up with the order and the whittling down process... It was tough, had to rely on Mr. Catch 22s counsel on more than one occasion... but I'm already looking back fondly on the experience.. even thinking about doing an 80s list..

Looking forward to a Mass Effect marathon tonight..

Making preparations for Walrus' birthday on Monday.. I already ordered the sardine birthday cake..

Nothing more to say..

Have a good weekend faggots.. see you on Monday..

 

 

 

5 June

The tear down begins..

Well, I know yesterday, I promised to stay out of politics, but I just wanted to make a few comments.. Saw Peggy Noonan (Wall Street Journal writer) on MSNBC this morning.. My God what horse's ass.. these fucking media pundits really think fucking pearls come out their mouths.. totally affected fucking cunt.. Anyway, what I found interesting about what she said was that already they are taking the polish off Obama.. She was saying how his acceptance speech was flat and hollow and wish he spoke more about policy than generalities.. What the fuck?? When has he EVER?? All he's about is the overblown wannabe MLK speech...

It's so obvious that now that they foisted him on us, theyre gonna tear him down.. It looks certain that Hillary will not be the VP.. so I dont see how he's going to win.. The polls have him one point under McCain nationwide.. that gap will widen and not in his favour.. I'll tell you why.. the attitude of Obama Kool Aid drinkers to Hillary supporters.. they have no respect for them whatsover.. Obama's campaign staffers and people have no respect so in effect Obama has no respect.. What they are doing is analogus to what Bush did (the if youre not with my way of thinking then "fuck you" approach) only instead of the redneck born again neocon scumbags, its the ultra left, college puke, Starbucks elitists.. They don't care about anyone else, they think they can take this election by themselves.. well they fucking can't and they won't.. I mean if a dottering old fool is beating him in the polls now after all this hooplah.. fuggetaboutit.. and oh yeah.. Obama kept losing primaries up to the end.. great..

Anyway..

Dead tired this morning up all night working on the site.. running on empty..

Week's almost over.. thank God.. looking forward to finishing Mass Effect over the weekend..

Finally, Walrus Comix turns 1 on Monday.... wish Walrus a happy birthday, why don't you?... or don't.. you fucking faggots...

 

4 June

Exhausted... wracking my brain all night for this 90s list.. trying to find the right songs.. it's not easy..

Well I saw all the speeches last night... Obama's acceptance speech... phony as ever.. Clinton's non-conceding speech.. and McCain's pandering to Hillary supporters speech.. I think McCain should have less people at his gatherings.. the 4 or 5 he has giving him the golf claps isn't working.. he should have even less.. for more impact...

Was watching the MSNBC coverage all night and its just so remarkable how they all delight in the defeat of Clinton.. men that's one thing, but its the WOMEN that I can't get over.. I mean, you wouldve thought at least that ugly thick necked bull dyke Rachel Maddow would've been for Hillary.. noo.. she'd rather support a man.. and the two black chicks, Michelle Barnard and the other one they always have on.. The other one even started to get ghetto on Tucker Carlson.. it was hilarious.. he's a genius at annoyingly pressing people's buttons..

I'm just waiting for the video of Michelle Obama using the word "Whitey" (at their infamous church that they went to for 50 years but now turn their backs on, like all of a sudden they are revolted by them) to come out that the GOPs have.. that's going to be entertaining..

Fuck it.. I'm done..

I don't acknowledge this election anymore.. To me it's as if my team didn't get into the World Series.. and when that happens, I don't watch it..

I'm in New York, my vote doesn't count anyway, it's always a Democrat that takes it.. so I don't have to vote and I'm not gonna.. taking my ball and going home.. Let the rest of the country deal with it..

In the end, whoever wins makes no difference to me anyway.. I don't have kids and won't ever.. so I don't give a shit about education policy.. I've got job security at a shitty job that puts me squarely in a bracket wherein I'd benefit from neither McCain or Obama.. I live in the city so I couldnt give a fuck about gas prices.. Everything is expensive here so inflation doesnt matter.. and I couldnt give a fuck about Iraq or our place in the world or war or terrrorism.. my life, for all intents and purposes, is over.. I'm ABOVE issues.. or below them, depending on your POV

So Why the fuck should I care? It's all the same to me..

It's ALWAYS all the same..

and that's ALWAYS been the problem..

 

 

 

3 June

1990s week cont'd

I've got the 1990s leaking out of my brain.. this top 50 list is either gonna be one hell of a catharsis or I may be hurtling straight towards the full on nervous breakdown I've always assumed I was due for since my music career went south..

It's been interesting going over all the songs that I enjoyed so much during that era...

Everyone's complaint with the music is that it's whiny and no fun.. purposely makes you feel bad.. My answer is, yeah it's a downer, but what are you, a bunch of FUCKING FAGGOTS?? What do you want? Broadway show tunes?? You need happy music?? Aww.. you need a little happy music... cause you're so up and you don't like having to think about blue things.. cause you're a little faggot happy person who doesn't like sad..

Awww... you no like sad..

In the immortal words of John Bender... B-O-O-H-O-O..

Faggots.

Everyone is saying today is the day Hillary will back out of the race.. I can't believe how the media is so jubilant over this.. like they feel they have triumphed over her.. they have forced her out.. and then they take the stand that they have had no negative influence on her campaign..

Fuck the media and the news pundits.. they no like sad either.. they like happy.. happy little speeches.. they no like to think about actual policies.. they like nicey words.. happy, HOPEFUL, words..

Faggots.

If that motherfucker doesn't pick Hill to be the VP, he has less than a snowball's chance in Hell of winning in November... What a fucking illusion these people are under if they think otherwise..

Speaking of illusions, I saw the movie classic 'Grand Illusion' the other night.. what a fucking film.. the dialogue, the acting is so fresh and sharp.. just as relevant today as it was when it was made... in 1937.. Jean Gabin was an incredible force of an actor.. Anyone who thinks the French aren't cool should check out this film.. anyway..

What else?

Wunderkind, Joba Chamberlain, makes his major league debut as a starting pitcher tonight..

Let's all wish the kid some luck...

Faggots.

 

 

2 June

Weekend recap

Finally... a thoroughly relaxing and enjoyable weekend..

Starting off Friday night, a marathon session of Mass Effect.. I played it for 8 hours straight through til dawn.. This definitely has turned out to be one of the best gaming experiences of my life.. so cinematic and immersive.. love the 70s sci-fi vibe.. just so genius.. I was so wrong in my initial estimation.. then again, I didn't play it on HDTV so that makes a huge difference..

Speaking of sci-fi and HDTV, I finally got around to watching 2001: A Space Odyssey on HDTV.. WOW.. It's already one of my all-time favourite movies, but watching it on HDTV remastered is like watching a completely different movie, altogether..

Chorus: "is like watching a completely different movie!"

Seriously, it was so clear and defined and gorgeous and lush.. It was a deeply religious experience..

Speaking of deeply religious experiences.. the latest pastor yahoo involved with Obama resigned.. If Obama doesn't pick Clinton to be his Veep, he's going to be crushed this November.. CRUSHED...

Heard Tatum Oneal was picked up buying crack this weekend.. at first she claimed it was "research for an upcoming role".. depressing enough? Like she's still making movies.. She was such a cute little girl in Paper Moon and Bad News Bears.. But with a fuck up father like Ryan Oneal she didnt stand a chance.. Sad..

Almost finished with the complete Bone series by Jeff Smith.. pure entertainment.. I truly recommend it to anyone looking for a great page-turner..

Been re-exploring the 1990s for a Walrus project (see Ultimate Album Sides).. and have found to my pleasant surprise that the era doesn't suck as much as I remembered music-wise.. In fact, it was fucking damn good.. Great, in fact... We GenExers have nothing to be ashamed of.. Fuck these Millenial fucks making us feel irrelevant.. We kicked ass.. And I, for one, am damn proud to say that I released a professional major label album during that time.. no matter what the outcome was..

1990s forever...

 

 

30 May

I'm Lost..

Lost of things to discuss today before the weekend so Im just gonna quickly skim over all of them..

First off, I saw the Lost finale last night.. I haven't actually seen one full episode from this season... I saw part of the first couple and I "lost" interest.. I just wasn't in the mood.. I had, however, seen every episode up til this last season.. I was a fan.. But this season they were just bringing in way too many characters at once and were all over the place with the whole "Oceanic 6" thing.. flash forwarding.. flash backing.. flash boring.. So, I saw last night's finale not knowing what the hell happened before it... It didn't matter, it was actually a pretty entertaining episode and it ended exactly where last season's finale ended... at the funeral parlour.. and it was Locke in the coffin.. Like I predicted a year ago.. or whenever it was that the last season ended.. Anyway, not bad..

What else?

I was up to 6 am last night playing Mass Effect.. Now I love this game.. the story has hooked me in.. it's like a book I can't put down.. finally having that game experience with the Xbox 360 that I've been waiting for.. was totally immersed.. I know what I'll be doing all weekend..

Apparently there's another preacher "scandal" with Obama.. Some pastor in his church mocked Clinton or something like that.. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SURPRISE?? Religion is a crock of shit and ALL clerics are snake oil salesman.. flouncing around talking in cricles about a bunch of fairytale nonsense.. fucking GIBBERISH... The media is really evil.. The fact that it lends any weight at all to religion, is criminal.. fuck them all..

On the Obama front as well, I read somewhere that he disclosed his health records, and though he is in fine shape, it runs out he is an "intermittent" smoker.. who's always trying to quit.. I dunno, I kind of think that's cool.. At least it shows he's human.. 1+ for Obama..

Further on the politics front, I saw Keith Olberman's interview of Scott Mclellan last night.. fairly interesting, but I don't know if this story is gonna have legs.. I mean, McCain continues to beat Obama in every poll..

If Obama does not pick Clinton as VP then he will not win.. end of story.. as it is he'll have a tough time of it..

Anyway...

Saw this horrible 80s movie the other night on cable called "Playing for Keeps".. I had seen it with my brother and some friends when I was like 14 years old in the movie theater.. it was one of the first times I was allowed to go to the movies by myself.. I totally remember this horrible, embarrassing pile of shit.. what a fucking 80s bowl of diarhhea.. everyone was so cutesy and annoying.. Why did every 80s teem movie revolve around some main douchebag kid "fighting to achieve his goals in a town against him".. so fucking faggotizingly gay... the plot if you can call it that focuses on this italian kid who looks puerto rican who convinces his friends from the city to join him in buying an old piece of shit hotel in the country and fixing it up... first off, what a gay thing to want to do when youre a teenager? Who the hell wants to do that at 17? Anyway, his moron friends join him and the town is against him, and a chemical plant that wants the land theyre on tries to sabotage them.. of course there's the obligatory dancing while working sequence.. consisting of all those faggots dancing around to horrible music while they paint the hotel, and by the end of the song the hotel is completely renovated..

what a pile of shit.. this is what I was forced to watch when I was a kid..

I'll take Juno any day over that..

The only interesting thing is that it was Marisei Tomei's first film.. and I remember disctinctly focusing on her when I saw it as a kid.. the rest of the retards in the film I don't think ever worked again.. deservedly.. but she had a Oscar-winning career and I called it then.. check out the picture to the left advertising the movie.. hilarious that there's this HUGE picture of her, who's hardly in the film, and the rest of the numbskulls who had bigger roles including the LEAD in the film are hanging out in the background hugging each other like a bunch of homo douchebags.. hilarious..

Addendum: Just wanted to make a point of paying tribute to the late great Harvey Korman who passed away yesterday.. Catch 22s says it all about him.. RIP Harvey.. you were one of the absolute greats..

Another point I wanted to make was about the 80s flick.. that it was obviously horrible knock off of the Karate Kid in the sense that they took some guy who bore a "ball park" resemblance to Ralph Macchio and had him go up against all odds to win at the end.. NOW.. Marisa Tomei's Oscar was from My Cousin Vinny who co-starred... who?..

That's right.. RALPH MACCHIO..

I don't know what my point is either.. it made sense to me a few hours ago..

Oh well..

Enjoy the weekend you fuckers..

 

 

 

 

29 May

Ruminations..

Having heart palpitations today.. too much coffee perhaps.. or maybe the beginning of cardiac arrest.. either way, it's annoying me.. grabbing at me..

What the hell is going on with baseball this year?? The TAMPA BAY RAYS are the best team in the league?? Pretty fucking weird... I kind of like it though.. good for them.. I love the latest cover from Sports Illustrated on the subject... It really is bizarro world.. Yanks had a pretty good game yesterday, though.. Jason Giambi is actually on a huge hitting streak.. Talk about bizarro world..

Anyway, what else?

Big palava over the Scott Mclellan book.. Mclellan was a press secretary for George W. Bush.. He's coming out saying that the Iraq War was sold on propaganda and cooked up evidence..

No shit Sherlock..

Who DOESN'T know this? The administration, of course, is acting like he's gone insane.. they're already out with their talking points.. calling it "puzzling" and saying he's "not the Scott Mclellan I know".. its sickening how so many of those cunts continue to fall in step with this administration's nauseatingly evil agenda.. It's interesting that this cunt has now come out with a book against him, cause I remember seeing him fairly recently on Bill Maher spouting the usual neocon bullshit.. towing the usual lines.. I wonder what happened.. Could he have actually had an epiphany, or is he just getting even for being fucked over by Karl Rove and Dick Cheney on the Valerie Plame incident.. Who knows? Not that interesting anyway..

If Obama continues to hammer away at McCain.. tying him to Bush.. using this book as evidence that even people now on the inside feel that the war was unnecessary, then maybe he might have a chance.. It's still going to be close..

Re-investigated the game Mass Effect last night.. Haven't really played it since I bought it last year.. but I wanted to see if there was any difference on the HDTV.. and yeah it makes a difference.. I was really enjoying it.. so much more of a cinematic experience in hi res.. like being in a sci fi movie.. I didnt even care that the combat aspect of the game is wonky.. something that really bothered me when I got it..

Anyone else love the show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives on the Food Network? Guy Fieri is terrific.. genuinely funny.. good delivery and interesting concept.. I think he's the new Emeril..

...until the next Emeril.

There's always gonna be an Emeril waiting in the wings..

 

 

 

28 May

Seconds

Well.. back to work today.. Feel better..

Spent all day sleeping out the toxins... only problem with that was I was up all night with a blazing headache from not having had any coffee all day.. its always something..

Anyway.. I just think I've reached overload... need to press the refresh button...

Rented There Will be Blood on OnDemand... Me and Longcipher had gone to see it when it came out in the theater and we were both nonplussed by it.. we both ultimately regarded it as a failure, although there were some good elements in it.. Well, out of boredom, I wanted to see it again, just to see if I missed anything.. well, I couldnt even get through 30 minutes.. so fucking painfully boring.. insufferable on tv.. and I dont get the whole point of it anyway.. irrelevant.. religion is mendacious.. no shit Sherlock..

Around 4 in the morning last night I finally found a semi-interesting film.. Seconds with Rock Hudson.. its a creepy late 60s black and white film about a guy who goes to a secret "organization" that surgically changes his face and legally changes his name so he gets a "second" chance at life.. only he never gets used to this new life and wants to go back to his old shitty life.. only he can't

Its directed by John Frankenheimer in a sharp jittery style that really enhances the malaise and tension of the story.. Ive seen it numerous times over the years and have always found it disturbing and good.. It was one of my grandparents favourite films.. which I always found really odd.

Anyway..

It made me think about life though.. how you're never satisfied.. you want out of one situation and then want out of another..  its all about trying to escape yourself.. which you can never do..  you can’t outrun yourself no matter how hard you try..

Seconds.. yeah.. good film..

 

 

27 May

Memorial Day

Well... I'm alive.. barely.. which is why I'm posting this Hermit so late.. and why there won't be much up today on Walrus.. I promise tomorrow's Walrus we will back to normal..

Went up to see my parents for the long weekend.. ate a lot the first day.. the night before I had gone out drinking with Mr. Catch 22s.. and I woke up early feeling fine ready to hit the road.. only I was in a peculiar mood.. annoyed.. agitated.. filled with a furious anger.. and it all seemed to be emanating from the pit of my stomach.. as the weekend wore on, I felt myself becoming more and more agitated.. more and more filled with ennui about my life and my direction.. just my place in the universe.. I felt like I was spinning out of control into a bona fide existential crisis... I woke up the next morning to the usual sounds of my mother and her sister (my aunt) in the middle of one of their long overblown fights whose only purpose is to ratchet up the tension and make every family get together completely unenjoyable.. my stomach felt distended from the previous day's gorging of baked ham.. macaroni salad and the usual chips and dips.. I wasnt in any acute distress though, just felt full..

Well.. after the entire afternoon was completely ruined.. my parents drove me and my brother back into the city.. by this time I was in a actively foul mood but I didnt know where it was coming from specifically other than a hatred of my very existence.. I felt like chucking it all in.. there was no purpose to anything.. I was completely bored with everything and it made me angrier and angrier.. I even had an urge to come home and completely erase Walrus Comix from the internet.. just go black.. I felt the act of its destruction would have been good for my soul.. Then just as I was about to, I felt sleepy so I took a nap.. and I woke up hours later a little hungry..

So not wanting to overeat again, I ate a bowl of cereal.. the milk tasted a little funny to me, but the date said it expired in June so I ate a bowl.. then I tried to settle into the evening flipping through the channels... trying to shake the agitated feeling that had been gripping me all weekend.. I couldn't.. Finally I went to the bathroom and sat down with Bone by Jeff Smith and got caught up in the story.. After a while I started feeling less aggravated.. I got out of the bathroom and lay down, when all of a sudden I realized I wasn't aggravated but nauseas.. a wave of nausea hit me like a green wave aboard an ocean liner..

I had this pain coming from my heart.. felt like it the cause of all the unrest in my soul that Ive ever had and hit me again and again with a powerful nausea.. I couldnt lay down in any position because the pain in my heart intensified as did the nausea.. I was trapped..

Well.. I won't go into the details other than to say that somehow I made it through the night and woke up, weak and depressed and feeling just as useless and irrelevant as ever.. except without the anger.. I have a malingering ache in my heart.. but Im not sure if that's the nausea or the usual ache in my heart.. the one caused by the hole that I can never seem to fill.. the one that pulls at me and pulls at me.. until one day it will pull me all the way into the ground..

Where I belong.

Was it the milk? Was it the drinking on Friday? Was it the usual tension that a trip up to Rockland County always provides? Who knows?

All I know is Memorial Day fucking sucks.. it's the gateway to summer and then summer is always over soon and then were into winter and then its another year passed.. and then another and another.. spent in a life you didn't ask to be born into.. in a world created by other people.. just trying to survive.. this survival instinct living things are equppied with is unreasonable to me.. why should any living thing have the audacity to wanna stick around so badly? were are less than an atom in a grain of sand in the scheme of things.. our planet is less than an atom in a grain of sand.. our GALAXY is less than an atom in a grain of sand..

and yet we drag one foot in front of the other day after day.. to what end?

To one day, end up dead like poor Sydney Pollack...

The story always ends the same way..

Isn't it time for a new story?

 

 

 

23 May

Reunion

Lately, it seems, that people from the past have been contacting my brother and I after discovering us through Walrus...

This is not necessarily a good thing.. Most times it is disconcerting at best.. Occasionally it is a pleasant surprise.. and sometimes, as I found out, a bona fide reunion can occur.. you know, one of those reunions that you always see on faggoty daytime talk shows, where moronic retards in Universal Theme Park t-shirts find each other after years apart, throwing their limbs around each other, shaking like Parkinson's victims as they cry into each others armpits..

A few days ago, we received through Walrusmail a message from our long lost childhood friend, Andy.. Now, Andy wasn't just a friend he was the FIRST friend that we ever had.. He was THE friend.. We grew up together.. He was part big brother, part father, part movie star to us.. Even though he was the same age, he was always more mature (one distinct memory I recall immediately was of a 27 year old woman literally throwing herself at him at a wedding we were all attending.. we were 12... I was seething with jealousy, but it was definitely impressive)... and me and my brother were small pasty (and later overweight) weirdos having just moved from France... While we were tortured in school, Andy was revered... if it wasn't for him being our best friend (our cousin, as we told everyone in school) we might have been literally murdered..

The three of us (Andy, my brother and I) were the "Great Triangle"... The proverbial Three Musketeers of dysfunction... the Holy Trinity... The terrible trio.. well, you get the point.. from the ages of 6 to 17 (which, in child years, is the equivalent of 100 years) the three of us were a band of brothers.. hanging out all the time.. getting into trouble... working out all the shit that kids work out when they are completely left to their own device with absolutely no parental guidance whatsoever..

The three of us even formed the first band I was ever in when we were 13 (I'd kill for those early tapes).. My first exposure to punk music and hardcore music (something that would later influence me and my brother in the band that we would eventually be signed to a label with) was through him.. Countless memories..

This is us at our birthday party at the local McDonalds.. You can tell how interested my father was with the proceedings... could he look like he wanted to be there less? Anyway, me and my brother were in our full-on Grease phase.. smoking chocalate cigarettes (we later progressed to the real thing of course, until we finally quit a few years ago)... There's Andy.. toe-haired.. self-assured (seemingly) and bigger than the rest of us..

Anyway, soon after we graduated High School, we all started drifting.. and apart from a few moments here and there we completely lost contact about 15 years ago.. It's not that we didn't think about ole Andy.. we always brought him up in every conversation we've ever had regarding our childhood and our life in general.. no Andy has always loomed large in our legend... he WAS our childhood and, like our childhood, he has haunted our thoughts ever since..

So you can imagine it was a very emotional reunion last night when we all got together in the same place for the first time in 15 years.. definitely moving and overwhelming.. I was glad to see he hadn't aged.. like us, he didn't turn into an old codger before his time like so many we went to school with...

The first thing I noticed was he had the same exact accent as us.. the same phrasing.. the same tone... all these years people have asked me where my strange quasi Bronx accent is from and I just said Rockland County.. and speaking with Andy last night confirmed that indeed my accent is regional.. it gave me a good feeling.. like I did come from a place.. I had some roots somewhere.. the second thing I remarked to myself was I was surprised how much we had meant to him... I mean to us he was someone we looked up to.. a larger than life character.. I never knew that we made such an impression.. that was good to know..

So we hung out and talked and it was so weird how we remembered the exact same memories distinctly.. we laughed and philosophized.. and the memories come crashing down around us like breakers off the coast.. Finally, we made plans to hang out in future.. It was one of those great adult moments.. a total retrospective.. What I really loved was that he totally validated my memories of being completely left to our own devices growing up, like feral kittens in the wild.. It was a great reunion...

God what a fucking gay post.. Enjoy the long weekend everyone.. We will be back on Tuesday!

 

Here we all are after all these years...

 

 

 

 

22 May

Dreams

Saw the last half hour or so of that movie Evan Almighty last night.. From what I saw of it, it is definitely contender for the worst film ever made.. every faggoty trick in the book, including the outtake dancing of the cast members to C + C Music Factory at the end as the credits roll.. How does a shitfest like this get greenlighted? and can we dispel the myth about Chris Carell (sp?) already.. What? Because 40 year old virgin was mildly amusing (not because of him) he's supposed to be a comic genius.. The Office fucking SUCKS!! EVERY NBC comedy is fucking wretching for that matter.. 30 Rock, Scrubs, The Office, and most espcially My Name is Earl.. God what a pile of leafy, maggoty, bloody with chunks of rotted flesh diarrhea that show is.. Fuck Chris Carell.. he's not fun and he's not funny..

To make matters worse I was eating dinner while I was watching it.. and I don't know what the diner is putting in their grilled chicken sandwich with bacon these days but whatever it is, it gave me the worst fucking heartburn.. it was literally giving me heartburn AS i was eating it!! and watching that horrible movie was compounding it.. so I felt one shade under violently ill as the movie AND the dinner wrapped up.. gah..

Anyway..

I had to decompress after that.. so I put in the DVD of the TV special Planet Earth which I rented from netflix.. its supposed to be amazing on HDTV.. and it wasnt.. it wasnt clear.. WHY??? It made me even more agitated.. Why did I get this huge fakakte tv for?? Its good for nothing except watching baseball.. and the Yankees are sucking so i feel like sticking my head in the microwave.. I couldn't enjoy it at all I just started feeling this tension grabbing at my spine.. finally I just turned in.. didn't even bother working on any Walrus stuff I was so disgusted..

Lately I've been having annoying dreams.. the chief theme of these being self-loathing.. sleeping these days is like an exercise in self-flagellation.. I am vividly confronted by past failures in my life, from relationships to my music career.. its been unrelenting.. I wake up feeling like shit and hating myself.. what am I trying to tell myself? or in fact, AM I telling myself anything?

I was having this conversation with a colleague of mine.. I posited the question, "Do dreams really tell us anything? Are they really clues to some personal mystery that we all must solve, or are they just random picture shows we experience at night to give us something to do while we rest? I mean who are WE to have personal mysteries and all these facets.. were just some matter put together by sheer luck.. stardust as Joni Mitchell sang..

Whatever, Freud seemed to think dreams had value.. but even HE said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.. Still why do we have recurring dreams? There's gotta be something there... its like we are trying to remind ourselves of something as we sleep.. Why do people SHARE the same recurring dreams? Like that fucking annoying one about having to go back to high schoo, or your teeth falling outl.. or remembering that you had registered to take a course and you forgot about it until the last day of class and now you realize you have failed...

Failure.. I think thats what its all about.. At least for me anyway..

My colleague came up with an interesting point as to the technical composition of dreams.. He put forth the question "has the invention of cinema influenced how we dream?" Which I had never thought about.. I mean we have all been raised with the movies so all the cinematic shots like panning and tracking shots and closeups are all ingrained in us.. and these cinematic shots often find their way into dreams.. making for a very film-like experience.. What happened BEFORE there were movies? Did people have cinematic dreams with soundtracks and closeups and panning shots?

I say that they might have.. who knows?

Maybe I just shouldnt eat heartburny grilled chicken and bacon sandwiches right before I go to bed..

 

 

 

 

 

21 May

Bologna and the eternity

Sucks about Ted Kennedy.. I'll never say, "er..ah.. er..ah.." (pronounced era) the same way again.. depressing.. now they're saying he's only got a few months to live.. what a pisser.. I was reading the statistics on brain cancer.. its actually pretty fucking rare, never realized that.. it accounts for only 1% of all cancers.. well.. when your number comes up, it comes up. Was just discussing this. Life is a like a big delicatessen.. you come in and pick up your ticket.. the grim reaper is behind the counter slicing cold cuts and when your ticket is called that's it baby.. you get the bologna AND eternity!

Well, Obamer has got his delegate advantage.. and that's that I guess. She'll be the veep and it'll be a close race.. and McCain will win.. so it was all a big waste of time for all involved.. hope his faggotized college puke followers will be happy then.. I don't hate Obama really.. just his fans.. He's kind of like the Grateful Dead that way.. I don't mind the band so much as the douchebag Deadheads that go on and on about how great they were....

Had a bowl of all-bran cereal and some leftover sushi for dinner last night.. not the best combination.. in fact, it might just be the world's all-time WORST combination.. on top of which, you're truly taking your life into your hands eating leftover sushi in the first place.. what do you want? I was desperate and didn't feel like spending any money.. I guess I'm lucky to be alive today.. just feel a pretty big dump coming on, but that's about it..

I think I'm coming out of Neil Young 'Trans' phase... it was a tiny but not insignificant phase.. a 48 hour-er... and now I'm past it and am that much better for the experience..

URP.

Was up til 5 am last night working on stuff.. way past 3:47 am (my personal demarkation for the absolute middle of the night), so essentially I haven't slept.. it's not that bad.. I never understand people faggotedly complaining about